At times I wonder what the purpose is; is it the writing or is it the creation of Avennyou? What is driving my journey? Is it the sharing of ideas that matters to me—the playful process of engaging with words—or is it the actual creation of a real thing that will hopefully be used by myself and by others. It is the interplay of these two dimensions of the spiritual and the physical, each threatening to diminish the other.
The more I think of it, the more I see how these two dimensions are incorporated and inseparable. Their establishment was based on their mutual symbiosis. One cannot subsist without the other. They are counterparts of the same creation and must therefore adjust to a life in harmony. If you are a blogger, an entrepreneur, or anyone who is trying to combine business with writing, I am guessing that you too occasionally have this feeling of dropping one of the two undertakings along the way.
Perhaps it is because progress made in one dimension causes imbalance and a sense of unease in the other. At this point, it feels easier to write than to progress in developing Avennyou, since the latter requires actions far out of my comfort zone. The involvement of others is necessary as I have reached a stage too hard to deal with alone. So should we choose writing over the process of actually pursuing our venture? It certainly feels easier. I would hazard a guess, though, that for those who find themselves writing alongside the creation of a business, that inner drive wouldn’t be fulfilled by settling for writing only. The inner drive is aiming elsewhere, and that elsewhere is the inspiration for the writing! For me, it is the combination of an idea and its execution which represents my personal mandala. And as writing transforms ideas into actions on the subconscious level, innovating represents the implementation of an idea on the outer level.
In order to advance, an entrepreneur needs to recognize and accept the nature of evolution and of patience, and understand that despite the uneven progress, this process will benefit both dimensions as they pull each other towards their mutual goal. It is the spirit that can overcome challenges but it is the doing that feeds the soul with recognition and actual interaction. And there is no better time for action than every particular moment, because it is the turning of thoughts into actions that will produce achievements and eventually keep the process on the road.
I can honestly say that not a day goes by without debilitating thoughts such as: "there's no use trying," "it’s a waste of time," "nothing will come out of it, you’re better to give it up and go on with your life." I may have the skills and capabilities to pull it together, but I still need to turn my inner desire to build my own thing that others can use into the concrete action of building a viable product.
I wonder what is the motivation behind the writing of others. For me personally, I write in search of ways to anchor my confidence, self-belief, resilience and self-efficacy. And whenever those demons of self-doubt surface, I go back and read or write to remind myself why I need all this, and why and where it all started.